Chapter 3: Empathy

Calculated Empathy & Calibrated Questions

Let’s talk about calculated empathy. We saw an example in module one (1) on effective communications activity 1 . It is a way of understanding other people’s feelings and thoughts when we’re talking to them. Imagine we’re playing a card game with a friend. We notice our friend is not really engaged in conversation or the game and we want to know what our friend is thinking and feeling about the game, or if something else is going on with them.

Exploring with calculated empathy is a bit like being a detective in a mystery movie. We try to figure out what’s going on in their head and heart, in an attempt to solve the emotional mystery/puzzle. It’s not about just hearing their words; it’s about digging deeper into their reality to understand what might be going on with them. Now, we can assume our friend:

Is getting frustrated with the game because they didn’t want to play
Is frustrated because we keep winning and they aren’t good at the game
Or they want to be doing something else

We can make many assumptions about their feelings or thoughts but these are just assumptions. We have to ask open ended questions to help us temperature check the situation. We should start with an easy one, like asking, “…want to do something else?” Then we wait for the response and continue asking questions until we can get them to open up to what they are thinking or feeling. When dealing with a speaker/customer over the phone we must deploy a calculated empathy. Listening to the person’s voice inflection, which is the tone and pitch of a person’s voice when they are talking. Do they sound angry, excited, frustrated or eager? Based on this analysis, you can determine the types of calculated empathy questions to ask to see if you can offer a solution to the issue(s) or problem they are experiencing. This will offer insights into their thoughts and motivations when done correctly.

Once we understand the emotions and needs of the other person, they may begin to trust us with the problem. That said, calculated empathy is about building trust. It can be deployed in many different situations with an unlimited number of calculated questions. Think of it this way, if someone is talking, they want to be heard, understood or help finding a solution/advice. Otherwise, why would they talk about the problem?

Setting Expectations

This section is about effective communication (no surprise) by ensuring we let the customer/clients know what we are able to do for them we can gain ground towards a solution. Imagine you want to buy a new car and you want to get a good deal for no more than twenty-thousands 20,000 dollars. You are expecting to spend no more than this amount. You are okay with spending less, but not more. Your expectations are anchored at this point. When we take a call from a client/customer calling in, they have an expectation. This expectation can be unrealistic but an expectation nonetheless. We must take and set the expectations by using all the tools you have learned so far in this training.

Asking open ended questions
Calculated Empathy
Active Listening
Handling Objection

Here is how we might deploy what we have learned so far with a call from a customer or client we are working with within our organization.

Case Study: Password Reset

We work for ABC Corp in the call center when a customer calls in (assume they have an expectation set for how this call should go) We ask for customer information to verify the account and caller. Once we have verified the caller, we ask what seems to be the issue (open ended question) and let the customer explain what’s going on (active listening for voice affliction). They tell us they have been transferred 4 times before reaching us and just need to reset their password. We respond by first addressing the concerns or frustrations we heard either expressed or picked up from the tone and pitch of their voice. In our response we want to normalize the feeling and make a statement for categorizing the feeling we think is being expressed (if it is not a positive response). A response could be “That sounds frustrating, let me try to quickly resolve this issue for or get you to the right department…if I have to put you on hold for a moment, it would be no longer than 2 minutes. Is that okay? (Anchoring the expectation and handling the objection)”

The Password Reset case study provides a simple example of how to handle forecasted rejection of being placed on hold, asking open ended questions, assumptions and anchoring or setting expectations with a potentially irate client/customer. However, we are unable to determine how a client or customer call will go so we must do our due diligence to gather all the data we can collect as earlier as possible so that if the call needs to be escalated to a manager, supervisor or colleague we have all the information we need to move the caller forward. We could also anchor expectations in the beginning of the call by asking if all I am able to do for you today is get you to the correct department would that be satisfactory? This is a collection of favorable wins and allows you to control the outcome of the call earlier, rather than after the call has gone off the rails.

Favorable Wins When Setting/Anchoring Expectations

Favorable wins is when we use and deploying all the tools previously mentioned (see case-study: Password Reset) to end a call with a customer/client. The order and timing is dynamic to each situation and should be used to neutralize or de-escalated a situation. Creating favorable outcomes are directly associated with setting and anchoring the expectation earlier in the interaction.

Focus on collaborative problem-solving to reach mutually beneficial outcomes. Aim for solutions that satisfy the needs of both parties whenever possible.
- For example, if all I am able to do is get you to a manager would that help you in any way today?
Establish what can happen and avoid talking about the things that are not possible

In summary, dealing with irate customers requires finesse, patience, and a deep understanding of effective communication. Transforming challenging situations into favorable wins is not only a testament to our professionalism, it is also a commitment to customer/client satisfaction. It also is an opportunity to strengthen brand loyalty and our personal brand. Adopting a customer-centric mindset, actively listening, demonstrating empathy, and offering tailored solutions, we turn the tide of dissatisfaction into a springboard for positive change. Continuously improving and having a dedication to learning from each customer interaction, we can navigate the customers experience and create favorable solutions.