A Squirrel's Victory

his is the story about a squirrel named Claude and how he landed the hottest piece of real estate in the CWE...and, more amazingly, remembered it! Before we begin, it is important to understand that squirrels are not as dumb as they seem; they are simply unable to remember anything for longer than an hour, at the very best. This presents many hardships, but is easily overcome with notes-to-self and the help of benevolent friends with more retentive memories, like the sparrows.

ne beautiful fall day, inside the base of a old oak tree in Forest Park, there was a squirrel named Claude. He lived with his mother, father and twenty-two siblings. They were storing nuts for the winter, as was tradition, when it struck Claude that he wanted a place of his own. He had heard the sparrows sing of the beautiful and interesting city lofts available for rent in all kinds of places that Claude had only dreamed of. There was one in particular that struck his fancy more than the others. It was a hole-in-the-wall with 10 inch ceilings above a bakery with a dumpster side view! The sparrows said it was only pebble's throw away from the local grocery store and that the bakery discarded dozens of cookies daily. The best part, rent was only one peanut per hour! Claude began preparations immediately.

he dangerous journey ahead conjured fear in young Claude's heart. Not only would he have to cross Kingshighway, but he would have to remember where he was going long enough to get there! Luckily, a sparrow named Chirp, agreed to fly alongside, reminding Claude of his dream for the duration of the journey. With that promise, he made a bindle from an empty tea bag and a chopstick, packed his notes-to-self, and stuffed one day's rent in his cheeks. He bid his family good-bye. Unfortunately, they forgot who he was by the time he left.

s Chirp and Claude approached Kingshighway, Chirp warned Claude to wait for the signal and once given to run and fast as possible. "Do not turn around for ANYTHING!", cautioned Chirp. "That is how squirrels die. Happens everyday..." The signal sounded and Claude ran with all his might, but soon a shadow of doubt came over him. Claude promised not to forget the sparrows warning, but inevitably, he did. With Chirp the sparrow out of ear shot high above the traffic, Claude forgot where is was and began looking for a place to bury the contents of his cheeks for the winter. He pivoted back toward the park, and in a blaze of horns blaring...

*^$#&¢¥£<!!!!!

THUD. Then there was silence.

wish I could tell you that his family found comfort in his memory, but that would be a lie. They had forgotten that he ever existed. Only the sparrows attended the funeral. As it turns out, this was a regular con they ran on the squirrels of the park, a quick way to make a few hundred extra peanuts every now and then.

ortunately, Claude was a kind a loving squirrel who was quickly let into the pearly gates. And guess what he found?! His hole-in-the-wall with 10 inch cielings, a dumpster side view, endless cookies and best of all...

infinite memory.